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The AikiHomestead

Our Lifestyle Blog as We Create a Homestead in Northern Ontario


How To Build An Outhouse - Part Four (A.K.A. How To Build A T.A.R.D.I.S.)

A beautiful TARDISToday is Canada Day here. This is my best Canada Day weekend ever! My parents are here, visiting with us for a very short time. Kenny has been beside himself with excitement at the prospect of their visit, and now he is in his glory that they are actually here. I’m so happy to just have them near again. Even Dad’s jokes seem fresher and funnier now.

One of the things they brought with them were some graphics that my friends at
ProMark Window Film and Shades made for me to complete my outhouse.

Yes, I have made a pretty nerdy outhouse. Disturbingly enough, Donna guessed my intent simply by looking at the floor. I have tried to keep it under wraps as much as possible ever since. I wonder if anyone was able to pick it out based on previous photos?

My father just thought it was a unique, police box outhouse until we mentioned that it was from Doctor Who.
A view of the TARDIS signage
Yes, I know there are no shortage of flaws and errors, please feel free to point them out if you need to,
Jeff Albertson. Concessions to my situation had to be made. I basically built it by consulting pictures in the morning, and then heading into the bush during the day to match my memories.

The walls are just rough cut lumber direct from my land and sawmill.

The roof is just some leftover siding I pulled from the dump, I painted it to match, but it couldn’t be formed into any sort of peak.
The dump lamp I mounted on top
The light on top was another dump find – some sort of carriage light that I removed the wall mount from. I am proud of how it turned out.

I couldn’t see a need for making the telephone panel open, so it is just the sign. I’m pleased to have managed to mount a lock and key though – Donna likes that she can lock it from the inside for full security!

Inside, it is just a normal sawdust toilet.

The windows are mosquito screens from the dump, harvested from a number of cast off screen doors and windows. I will insert “storm” windows in the winter, perhaps with the munton bars present in the original tardii. I wanted it to get lots of air, considering the intended use.

Well, that’s about it. I hope that a few of you can appreciate the strange effort to build this thing. I’m really tickled that I was able to do it entirely with lumber cut and milled on site.

It’s almost time for breakfast here, I best be off to spend another awesome day with the parents!


Can't wait to see what you'll do with your cabin…
  • Anonymous (2012-07-01)

Ha ha! I think I best try to be a bit more traditional. The in-laws are already worried about my sanity.
  • Stephen Garstin (2012-07-01)

You'd better be careful. I can see this building suddenly becoming a rare geocaching target.
  • Viktor (2012-07-02)

Hmm, perhaps I should hide the key? Or add a donation box?
  • Stephen Garstin (2012-07-02)

Can you give me your adress?
Not that im going to steal anything, just want to take a look inside the tardis, and I also need to test out my new teleporter
And dont try anything, I got my sonic screwdriver.
  • Frederik (2012-07-02)

Address in what sort of coordinates?
  • Stephen Garstin (2012-07-02)

Wow, that looks great, you did an amazing job! Easily the coolest outhouse ever.
  • Denise (2012-07-09)

Something tells me the bar is set low when it comes to outhouses.
  • Stephen Garstin (2012-07-10)

The Turdis?
  • Anonymous (2013-01-29)

It's bigger on the inside right?
  • Samantha (2013-06-07)

Stephen. I stumbled upon your "turdis" while searching for pics to base mine on. I'm sure there are numerous "DR "fans that could pick apart your design, but they can just go poop in the woods I guess? It looks wonderful and bet it does the job just fine. Making it with the resources you have available makes it that much better. I will be putting mine in my piece of heavily wooded forest about a half mile from the nearest road near the PennsylvaniaNew York border.I am lining the interior of mine with a shower surround with a floor drain, and a flushable boat potty with a small removable waste tank. Any water used for the shower will be from rainwater collection, pumped and heated by solar power.Some design changes will be required because of the heavy snow that we get in the "Enchanted Mountains" , but like yours, there will be no doubt as to what it is…. at least to the surprisingly few Dr Who fans that live here in "The States".( when I tell people that I'm building a "Turdis" most people don't have a clue as to what I'm talking about).My biggest issue will be with making sure that there is enough ventilation, to prevent mold and mildew growth when it is closed up for weeks at a time during "hibernation season", while keeping it closed up tight enough to keep out the critters, Thanks a bunch for sharing your blog, and the great pictures of your outhouse! Job well done!
  • al (2013-09-30)

This is too cool. I was looking for "easy outhouse" designs tonight and came across this. I had to send it to a friend of mine obsessed with "the Tardis" and I pined it on Pinterest for good measure. 🙂
  • AKmamaOf7 (2013-11-06)

I to am contemplating building a Tardis. Has anyone come across a collection of outside pictures from all sides? Possibly a blueprint ala Star Trek? Why hasn't a portable potty company already produced one in plastic. I do believe it would be a hit at festivals of all kinds.
  • Anonymous (2013-12-30)

A Fartis?
  • Anonymous (2014-04-13)

nice post
  • Joseph Ferguson (2017-07-24)
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